2023 has again brought out some really great submissions to the Pumpkin Destruction contest! All of the entries were excellent, but the highly coveted, widely admired, and almost worthless Gordy Award for pumpkin destruction film excellence needs to be awarded. So here we go!
In our view, every entry had merit, but there are always gradations of awesomeness in veggie decimation. We have therefore created several additional awards in recognition of their excellence.
Sterling Armory - wins the award for not being able to follow instructions, best wearing of a tail (nicely done Josh Von War Bear) and best demonstration of how insidious pumpkins can be. Also some sweet cutting and excessive spending on vegetation. You guys rock. $100 gift certificate.
Honorable mention for tightest costume as well!
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Pumpkin Lord or John Knoch - best use of the German Bastard Sword. A sword that takes practice to wield so deftly. Also not submitted by we love blooper reels, $100 gift certificate.
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Lake Forest Academy - continue with their massed attack and receive the nice slice award mostly for Hannah's consistency and Flynn's heroic stance, but also Chuck's tree trimming talents. $100 gift certificate
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Jon Hansen and Iris Hansen - Continue their award winning film making with a play on their "super creepy and menacing use of a child actor award" from last year with a nice twist. You win cutest mass killer this year $100 gift certificate
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The Trained Band is the Gordy Award winner with their multiple weapon extravaganza almost all of which we made over the years. It seems we have a solid lock on how to destroy fall veg in our product line. Of particular note: a lovely cut with a rapier
Good cut and nice beard!
They did not stop there as we see powerful use of
English Bill - long range devastation
English Nail - custom dagger we made
Glaive - yea baby
all with excellent facial hair.
Dane Axe cut awarded best reason not to go to Visby for Vacation. One wonders why anyone tried to fight vikings?
The culprits but one.
Jack o Lantern The Safety Third Award
and finally they sent us this Canon vs Pumpkin voted best use of too much testosterone.
So the Trained Band wins this years Gordy Award and a $250 gift certificate and winner of the Gordy Award.
Thank you all for your submissions. You have brought light and happiness even though winter is coming. You have also admirably demonstrated we not take the annual invasion of all things orange sitting down and that the proper application of muscle, steel and training can strike a blow for good. Oh, and a bit of powder doesn't hurt.
Thank you all so much, This is one of our favorites each year, now back to the hammer...
Nathan Clough, Ph.D. is Vice President of Arms and Armor and a member of the governing board of The Oakeshott Institute. He is a historical martial artist and a former university professor of cultural geography. He has given presentations on historical arms at events including Longpoint and Combatcon, and presented scholarly papers at, among others, The International Congress on Medieval Studies.
Craig Johnson is the Production Manager of Arms and Armor and Secretary of The Oakeshott Institute. He has taught and published on the history of arms, armor and western martial arts for over 30 years. He has lectured at several schools and Universities, WMAW, HEMAC, 4W, and ICMS at Kalamazoo. His experiences include iron smelting, jousting, theatrical combat instruction and choreography, historical research, European martial arts and crafting weapons and armor since 1985